Are You Waiting for Someone to Discover You're a Fraud?

No matter how successful someone you follow seem to you, behind closed doors everyone struggle with something. Infallability is a lie, and quite frankly it's dangerous to think "but this person is!". Not only do you put that person on a pedestal, you also bring yourself down by doing so. You focus on what you don't have rather than what you've already achieved, and you compare yourself to someone who is in a different place in their career.  


Growing up I struggled with being as invested in things as my peers, or the way I saw characters on TV was. I don't have one favourite band, actor, author, etc. I never saw the point and I never got truly invested in something, I never had that "honeymoon phase" with things. So when it finally happened earlier this year, at the age of 24, it took me by such surprise I didn't even notice it. 


I lost motivation, I fell into the "Fraud Hole", and I had no urge to read or write anymore. Why? Because I started to look at some authors differently from what I had done earlier. To me, these people were successful, they were funny, they had their shit together. They had it all. And I, in comparison, had nothing and were none of those things. 


Humans are incredibly complex and idolizing people like this might work for some people, but at the same time it might be the straw that breaks the camel's back for others. It can cause people to fall into the trap of thinking "who am I to write this?" or similar, when they're actually perfectly knowledgable on the subject. 


Last week I saw this on Twitter:


Although I understand that this aims to motivate people, I personally dislike it because there are "unsuccessful" people who do all of these things as well. Most people I know who are "successful" deals with anxiety on different levels, they struggle with the Impostor Syndrome as well, they are surprised when things go well, and many of them have life problems they don't let you know about. They constantly tell themselves that they haven't done enough yet, or that they have to do more every day.


The most important question to ask yourself is: what do you define as success? Is it financial freedom? Being able to travel the world? Run a successful business (and also, what is a "successful business" specifically)? What is it that you want that you consider successful, what is your actual goal? Define that for yourself and look at your own life and actions. Are you working towards them? If yes, great you're already on the way. 


What I think is another important to question is: why do you not consider yourself successful now? Are you closer to your goals than you were a month ago? If yes, great, by your own definition you're already more successful. If not, then take a look at why not. was it something you could have prevented or was it something out of your control? Sometimes we have dips that we can't affect and that's something you shouldn't hold over yourself.


To someone else you are successful, so why are you punishing yourself for working towards your goals? You're not the next ________ or anything of that sort. No one else can do what you do in the way you do. Logically look at where you are and where you come from and remind yourself, every day if necessary, of that.


You're not a fraud, you're moving forward. 

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